Finding My Rhythm in the Rockies: As Glass and Heart Melt Together, Estes Park, CO

I am finally catching up with my writing and reaching the present moment.

There are times when it’s hard for me to express my feelings and emotions. It usually happens when my heart feels heavy and empty of my happy self. That is when it’s difficult to find the right words.

So I will do my best to open my heart with honesty and authenticity, which are so important to me in every way I communicate.

This post took me a while to write. But as I wrote, the process helped me see things through a clearer lens and slowly melt away the heaviness that had settled in my soul.

I began to understand some of the underlying reasons why I was feeling emotionally challenged. As always, that understanding became the bridge back to my happy self.

As I finish this post (end of June), the palette colors of my lens are bright and colorful!

It’s been just over a month since I arrived at the YMCA. I am slowly adjusting to a new routine, though it’s taken much longer than I expected. I wish the transition were faster, but I also appreciate the gentleness I am offering myself during this time.

The YMCA of the Rockies is on a much larger scale than Winter Park Resort. There are more people, and there is more movement, and more energy to absorb. I take many deep breaths and remind myself that nothing in life is permanent.

A day after I arrived, I realized I had misunderstood the terms of my employment—I am paying for room and board. It’s not a large amount, but it was an unexpected expense. I also forgot how painful it is for my back to stand for eight hours a day. The discomfort reminded me quickly that no amount of money is worth returning to that level of physical pain.

Thankfully, I was able to shift to part-time, which gives me three and a half days on and three and a half days off. A rhythm that feels much more sustainable.

At first I felt shocked knowing I would end up earning only about eight dollars an hour after all expenses. I let that shock sit in my heart while finding my way back to trusting myself, trusting that there is a reason I am here. If I had known all the details upfront, I probably would have declined this job.

So once again, I surrender. I let my dance with the universe unfold as it needs to—with love and acceptance.

One thing I deeply wished for when I accepted this position was to be given a small cabin in the woods for housing. The YMCA has a few types of accommodations for staff and volunteers, and among them are simple, rustic cabins that are tiny, but still bigger than my minivan :) To my joy, that wish came true. That little cabin in the woods makes all the difference for me.

On my first day at the craft center, I was stationed at the tie-dye table. The next day, I moved to glass fusion. I am amazed at how quickly I melted into this art form—just like the glass itself. It feels like all my artistic skills are unfolding together to flourish in this new discovery.

I’ve been fortunate to have an angel take me under her wings during my first few days. Diane welcomed me with humor and kindness, which made a big difference as I adjusted to my new surroundings. I feel doubly fortunate that now Diane is both a friend and a mentor. She generously shared her ten years of experience in glass fusion, and in doing so, awakened a new creative passion. We bonded quickly. I love her energy and her warmth.

On my days off, I catch up on life and go hiking. Rocky Mountain National Park is vast and full of trails to explore. The only challenge is the park’s timed-entry system due to the volume of visitors. I’ve learned that if I want to find solitude, I need to start early.

On some evenings, I take a few ingredients from the cafeteria and find a quiet spot in the park to prepare a healthier dinner. Unfortunately, much of the food served is fried or processed, so I do my best to eat what feels good for my body.

I love that I can walk straight from my cabin into Rocky Mountain National Park. The wildlife here is amazing. On almost every walk or hike I take at the YMCA, I encounter deer, wild turkeys, and elk.

It’s been two weeks now that I haven’t been able to shake the weight on my shoulders. Work is extremely busy and yet so rewarding. I love working with the Y guests and helping them bring their creative selves into a beautiful glass creation.

However, this morning I woke up feeling a wave of depression creeping in. I told myself, “That’s enough. It ends here.” I could feel that heaviness beginning to settle. It was time for tough love and a little more push. This is where I believe resilience steps in, where strength rises to stand beside me, guided by the wisdom I’ve earned.

I went for a walk along the creek and let the rawness of my pain become a window into the why and the how.

Here’s what I discovered on that walk, in no particular order:

Staying six months in one place is too much for my wandering soul.

Six weeks on the road wasn’t enough. I wasn’t ready to leave my happy place or my love for the nomadic lifestyle.

Sometimes, life is just life. A truth I already know, but always good to remember.

I came with high expectations, which often opens the door to disappointment. That one’s on me.

Now, let’s get back to the business of joy, and let’s go explore the beautiful Rocky Mountain National Park.