Looking for Flush: The Man Who Taught Me Happiness — Pacific Grove, CA

I am excited!

My next stop will be to visit my dear friend Jennie in Palo Alto. Our beautiful friendship began a few years ago and has grown into a connection I deeply cherish.

But first, I need to make one small detour…

Let me take you back to mid-May 2023, to Pacific Grove, California. Here is what I wrote back then (Book 1, page 133):

"A quick look on Google Maps shows me there is only one place open that early for breakfast, and it is just a few miles away. I take my time organizing my car before the cafe opens up. A homeless person greets me with "Good morning" and starts a light conversation. We wish each other a good day and move on with our lives.

When I enter the cafe, Charles (Flash) is already enjoying the breakfast that the cafe provides him every morning. We nod and smile at each other. I can sense he is looking for a human connection, so as he gets up to leave the cafe, I ask him a question about the pillow around his neck.

He is delighted to answer my question. I invite him to join me at my table. We sit for over an hour chatting about life and how amazing it is that he spent two years back in the late 60th in Israel, in Haifa, where I was born, and learned Hebrew at the town where I grew up. Since I could not finish the huge omelet I ordered, I offered Charles to make him a sandwich for lunch.

His big smile was a gift to me. We hug goodbye and wish each other a happy life.

What a wonderful way to start my day!

Happiness is a choice no matter what our condition.

Charles taught me that."

The time Flush and I spent together made a beautiful difference in my life. That old man taught me lessons I still carry with me.

When I first saw him stealing glances at me from his table, what I saw was a deep yearning for human connection. My decision to respond to that need enriched my life more than I could have imagined.

So I hoped to sit down again with Flush to share and thank him for making a difference in my life. For that, I need to be at the café at 6:30 in the morning, just like before—hoping to share another moment.

That meant stealth camping nearby. The lighthouse parking lot worked perfectly.

It also gave me a chance to revisit Garrapata State Park Vista Point to stand again in awe of Big Sur's breathtaking beauty.

And yes, I know you're wondering: What did I really learn from sweet Flush?

First and foremost:

We all need and thrive from human connection. It is simple. It is free. And it is life-giving. A moment of connection can go a long way—for both people.

Second:

It is not my place to judge.

As I listened to his story, I learned that his estrangement from his daughter and family wasn't for me to question. After all, I have chosen to disconnect from parts of my own family which is a choice that feels necessary and clean now, though I wish I had dared to do it years ago.

What Flush needed at that moment wasn't my opinion. He needed a loving smile. And I was glad to offer it.

Third:

Money can't buy happiness.

Flush had been homeless for many years, yet he was one of the happiest people I have ever met.

And lastly:

The reward of sharing kindness is priceless.

When I entered the restaurant this time, I looked toward the table where we had sat. But Flush wasn't there.

I ordered breakfast, still hopeful he might walk in. When the waitress came over, I asked if she had seen him lately. "No," she said softly. "About a year ago, he fell ill, and his family came to pick him up."

I know the chances of seeing him again were slim. He was already in his mid-eighties when we met.

Knowing that his family was there for him when he needed them the most, softened the sadness of not getting to say thank you in person.