It's been a few days now that I am struggling with my emotions.
I need to speak them out, and the best place for me is my "Power Girls." That is what I call my text group of my seven beautiful women back home.
My fortune will always be the beautiful souls in my life.
Why am I struggling? I am at a crossroads in my life that requires courage. (I promise I will share the details when the time comes).
So, of course, there are times when fear creeps in and takes over.
I text my girls: "Just confessing...I am scared, so much uncertainty..."
These women are my "Power", as their love and support are part of my journey.
"You have always known that this is a journey and you've done an amazing job of embracing all of the hills and valleys- literally and figuratively. You're ready for this Gila - no matter what 'this' turns out to be 💜✨🫶"
I am truly blessed with amazing support. However, I am also clear-minded and aware that, ultimately, I am the only one responsible for myself.
Fear is a strong and private emotion. Each of us has a different tolerance for it. I know what my heart needs, but my self-doubt is creeping in.
I try to remind myself of the incredible peace I found inside when I trusted wholly in God and the universe and, as a result, trusted myself. But right now, I am on shaky ground.
I have lost the trust in myself, and I need to regain it, as it is reducing my enjoyment of the moment. All my common sense is aware that I have little control over life and that uncertainty is life.
So yes, I must shake this fear as it smashes my chance for a wholehearted life. And, as my dear Eva Marie said, "stay on track". I find it funny how literally this applies to me right now.
All this unfolds in my head as I drive from Quebec City to Prince Edward Island. I have two scheduled appointments I need to attend—an oil change in Moncton and a ferry to Newfoundland at the beginning of June. The rest is me taking the time to drive and explore. I want at least three days in Prince Edward Island, so my drive to Moncton is less stopping and more driving.
My stops include a woodcarving park, Trois-Bérets Park in Saint-Jean-Port-Joli, Plage de Baie-Saint-Paul, Grand Falls Gorge in Grand Falls, and crossing the world's longest-covered bridge at Hartland. The Magnetic Hill (a Famous location with an optical illusion that makes a downhill stretch of road appear to go uphill) is so cool!
For now, I spent a night at the parking lot of Grey Rock Casino in Saint-Basile, NB. And tonight, I found parking behind a gas station in Salisbury on iOverlander. I also took my first shower at a truck stop and was very impressed with it all.
To ease my fearful heart, I do what has become my best tool for staying true to myself: write.
One stop is the public library in Fredericton (the capital of New Brunswick), and now, I am sitting at Tim Morton in Salisbury just before night falls.
I hope to find wifi and time to write as I travel through Newfoundland.
But first, Prince Edward Island...
I can't wait to be part of nature again!
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