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Sea Rim State Park, Texas (2)

It's a lovely Saturday morning here in Texas. I'm heading down to the south of Texas to travel along the Gulf of Mexico. On many of the beaches, you can camp for free. I decided to take a week and swing my camping options, so I don't make any reservations. I'm aware I'm taking a risk, but I would like to see how it is to live on the edge. 😆

The ride is pleasant. I do find myself at one point laughing, I mean, really laughing. While driving, I suddenly see I'm about to go on a bridge, but all I see is the road going straight up. Like, I need to choose between taking the left lane that goes to hell or the right lane that will take me directly to heaven. So, of course, I stay in the right lane. 😆 That was one of three bridges that I crossed that day with a laugh in my tummy.

My first destination on the Gulf of Mexico is Sea Rim, State Park. I get here after 6 p.m. and luckily I find a spot. I have two options: one on the beach or one on a concrete surface with facets and electric. I do need to recharge my jumper, and I do like the comfort of having a picnic table next to my car. It was a good choice because I got to meet Yvette and Jim. They invited me for dinner, and a new friendship began.

It's beautiful here, but one big challenge that I hope will not force me out of here are mosquitoes. They are everywhere, I mean everywhere! When I get into my car with the rest of the twenty or more mosquitoes, it's a party for sure. The main game is who's going to stay alive. Right now, when I hear them buzzing in my ears, I'm still not sure if I have a good chance of winning.

In the morning, I decided that I would like to experience camping on the beach. It's primitive camping, but I'm ready for it. I have all I need.

Yvette and Jim invited me to join them kayaking later in the afternoon, so I went for a long walk on the sandy beach. My brain is clean, and the fresh ocean air is in my nostrils, with the pleasant sound of the waves coming and going in a rhythm on their own. I have all the room in the world to be in my head. I like being in my head. I feel very comfortable there. I can be fully honest with myself. I think about the many compliments I am receiving on my writing from my friends and the different Facebook groups I belong to. You need to know that I am surprised by my own writing. This is all new to me. I do deeply appreciate the compliments, thank you!

I recognize that I have many artistic talents, but today when I look at my painting or my murals, I still cannot believe that I am the one that painted them. It saddens my heart that I'm unable to appreciate myself as I should. I know it's a result of my upbringing and how my dad constantly put me down, and I need to try to get passed that, but even after 54 years, I cannot pass that brick of a wall. There is much more in me to create, but I still feel I am trapped inside myself.

It's time to make dinner and enjoy the sunset. I never thought I would cook dinner with this beautiful sunset backdrop on one side and the full moon on the other.

I'm sitting in my chair, looking at the horizon. It feels unreal. I can't even explain my emotions. I am so small in this big, vast night. The full moon's reflection on the sea is mesmerizing, and the only sounds I hear are of the waves vibrating in my ears. The sea is so dark and eerie. It's powerful to feel so small in this ample space around me.

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