I thought I had it all together, that my emotions were on steady ground, so it was a total surprise that these last few moments in my apartment, saying goodbye to a few walls opened a flood of tears.
Adi wanted to walk me to my car to give me a final hug. I asked him to wait for me downstairs as I just wanted one last moment alone in my cozy apartment.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, I broke down, feeling a deep sense of loss. I was already running late and didn't have time to linger. I came down to stand next to Adi, who wiped my tears and hugged me with the comfort he always knows how to give. We both know, without saying it out loud, that for something to be born, something has to die.
I start my engine and follow my little tradition of beginning my journey with a moment to remember. This time, I opened my music folder and let the universe decide which song would lead this year: Brave by Josh Groban.
When you stand up and hold out your hand
In the face of what I don't understand
My reason to be brave
I relax into the drive and let my landscape movie for the day nurture my soul. By now, most of the trees are standing naked, ready for the next season, illustrating how life is always in transition.
Knowing I have six full days of driving, I take the opportunity to listen to a book I read a few years ago. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. On so many levels, it wasn't an easy book to read. However, I gained so much understanding about my past trauma and was able to transform that knowledge into my healing process.
For me, the more I understand my emotions and their source, the better I can be open to acceptance and healing. Today, I feel I have made tremendous progress in healing my past. Knowing I found true forgiveness for my ex and my father is a profound result of hard work in understanding my emotions and life’s journey.
Good morning, beautiful day! I forgot how delicious it is to sleep in my cocoon. I wake up with a proud feeling of being so relaxed. This is the first time that, as I start a new chapter, I don't feel that edge of nervousness. I know I have earned this calm by constantly pushing my boundaries with each small step I take.
I have another long day of driving ahead, on my way to Chicago to hug Susan.
As I enter Indiana, the road signs remind me of Indiana Dunes National Park. I desperately need to stretch my legs, so revisiting Indiana Dunes National Park is the perfect stop.
It is a cold, beautiful day here in Indiana—light blue skies with feathered clouds and a bright, shining sun. I roll up my pants and remove my shoes. Wow, the sand is cold. I feel so wonderful and free! In the distance, far away, a faded blue silhouette of Chicago rests on the edge of Lake Michigan's horizon, like a natural part of the landscape.
Having the opportunity to see Susan again is priceless. It amazes me how we have been able to reconnect in person over the last two years. I enjoy learning about her travel plans for the next few months. Susan has always been a source of inspiration to me. It is a delight to spend time again with her sister, Boots, and meet her brother, Mike. Until next time, my dear Susan…
Only an hour away and a slight detour, I arrived at Alice's house. It is wonderful to spend time with her again. On my last visit, six months ago, she cautiously let me "play" in her art studio, where she paints with patina on bronze. This time, after earning her trust from that first visit, Alice gave me the freedom to explore and bring my experience as a decorative painter into the patina process. My heart sings with the joy of creation. Alice's unique art, from her Dory sculptures to her bronze plates, reflects her artistic soul and beauty. I feel truly enriched and grateful as our friendship deepens. (http://www.mcleanbronze.com)
It is 34° this morning. I forgot how tough it is to wake up in such frigid temperatures. I do not want to leave my warm bed, and my heating blanket is much appreciated right now. Funny, just before I left, I stopped at my Chrysler dealer to ask a few questions about some of the setups in my van and learned that one of the buttons on my key fob is a remote control starter. You know what that means, right? I do not have to get out of my warm bed and onto the freezing floor to start my car. I can do it from the comfort of my bed. Now, that is a fantastic improvement!
Driving through Iowa and Nebraska means flat farmlands, which I have learned to appreciate as they give me endless skies. I love how the tractors create lines on the fields, adding movement and textures to my view.
I spend my nights at rest areas where I feel safe. It is another freezing night, and this time, I am not able to keep warm, even with all my layers. The wind whistling outside makes the temperature drop, and I cannot fall asleep. Oh well, I will keep reading my book.
My mission today is to find a place to take a shower. I am sure that will help my sleepy body. I earn another hour as I enter Colorado, and I am welcomed with a beautiful thin layer of white powder that stretches all the way to the edge of the horizon, meeting the gray skies in beautiful harmony.
Tonight, I am parking in Janna's driveway and will be plugged into an outlet. My heating blanket on the high setting will be a blessing. I can even turn on my little heater and sit in my "living room" before climbing into my bed. Thank you to all the Jannas out there who offer their driveways as a safe place to park for the night on the Road Trip Her Facebook map.
As I leave Loveland and head toward Rocky Mountain National Park, the range of mountains welcomes me from a distance, and I feel I am home! I have a certain smile when the mountain girl in me comes to life, and I love that part of me.
The snowstorm and I arrive in Estes Park mid-morning. A beautiful, peaceful white wonderland gives me an idea of what it will be like to live here next winter. Yes, I have accepted the offer to work at the YMCA of the Rockies as an arts and crafts instructor. Andria is willing to be flexible with my start date and duration. I am excited!
I get to Boulder late in the afternoon to spend the weekend with Ron and do the final packing for my winter job. Ron and I share a deep passion for hiking, but I think we both forgot that I am not used to hiking at high altitudes. Our hike to Lower Crater Lakes in the James Peak Wilderness starts at just above 9,000 feet of elevation. The hike is close to 6 miles, but after reaching 10,000 feet and hiking in deep snow, I can't go any farther. At this point, a headache is pounding at my temples, and I am moving too slowly for us to reach the lake view. We take our lunch break with a stunning view and bright sunshine.
I love Boulder! The vibe of the town perfectly matches Ron's personality, which makes me happy he found his "home." I definitely have a favorite direction in Boulder, and that is west! Wow, those mountains are breathtaking.
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